One thing holds true for most of us each year, as work, school, kids activities and other commitments start to snowball… that overwhelmed feeling can start to sneak in. Sometimes it comes through the back door unnoticed until all of a sudden we find ourselves having a true ‘brain melt’ over an otherwise innocuous trigger. There are two ways to attack this beast. We can either put systems in place to help us be more organised and prepared or change our relationship with our overwhelm and our thinking associated with it. Or we can do a bit of both.
These two types of strategies both have their benefits and are essential to us being able to manage the multiple demands. What appeals to you will depend very much on what you specifically find challenging and what makes sense to you. Below are some more general tips to help you to start thinking about how you might manage this as we head into 2026.
Organisational tips to prevent overwhelm:
Build planning habits Creating habits that support what you want to achieve and that are defined at the level of mini routines that you incorporate into your everyday add up over time to create something meaningful. As James Clear says “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” He shifts the focus from what you want to achieve to what you do daily. For example, adding a 5 minute habit of looking at your calendar before the day starts and prioritising 3 things you want to get done (however small) may over time make a considerable dent in your to do list. Same goes for kids planning how and when to complete homework and assignments – one small habit that builds planning into the everyday can transform their approach to time management. Whilst it is not always helpful for parents to help their child to do the work, it is often very helpful when they assist them to plan the work.
Make it visible Nothing throws someone into overwhelm faster than missing appointments, double booked events and finding out last minute about getting someone to sport practice or tutoring or their violin lesson! Adults and young people alike can also find the lack of predictability with unanticipated events unsettling. Having a single visible place that your family keeps track of dates for all the various goings on for each family member can ease the struggle. The key is that everyone really does need to be indoctrinated into writing everything in the one place – thus identifying potential future difficulties well before they become the problem.
Chunk it A long list of chores, homework or life admin can seem insurmountable. One helpful way to approach this is by chunking like tasks together. For example all the phone calls to banks, telco and making Drs or other appts for everyone can be grouped together as it requires the same tools (probably a phone and your computer/calendar) and can be done in the same place (quiet, at home, possibly with a cup of tea on hand) therefore reducing the number of times you need to get yourself into the right situation with the right tools to perform the task.
Changing your relationship with overwhelm when it is here:
Name it You have probably heard the phrase “name it to tame it”. Author of The Whole Brain Child, Dr Dan Siegel speaks of when we consciously identify the feeling, we engage our prefrontal cortex (our thinking or rational brain) and contributes to our emotional regulation. Simply drawing your attention to it “ah there is that overwhelmed feeling again” creates distance from it and allows us to see it as an internal state, not a danger in our environment. It won’t solve the problem on it’s own but it is an excellent first step and can partly mitigate a full slide into feeling totally overwhelmed.
What information is it telling you? When we feel a strong feeling like overwhelm, it is because there is generally some important information that it is trying to tell you – just like that jab of fear you might get when you hear a loud beep as you step onto a road! It is telling you to pay attention to something that might hurt you (like that often talked about sabre tooth tiger that our ancestors had to contend with). Is this information telling you that you need to engage in some of the tools above to be able to tackle the numerous things weighing you down effectively? Or is it telling you that your internal resources are strained and some self care is needed? Or help from others?
Make room for it – Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (aka ACT) is well known for helping clients to make space for their overwhelming feelings. One exercise for doing this is known as “dropping anchor”, a grounding exercise that helps you remain in the moment with a difficult feeling rather than seeking to avoid or getting overly wrapped up in it. Dr Russ Harris, a well known Australian ACT therapist and trainer guides listeners through dropping anchor exercises here: https://www.actmindfully.com.au/free-stuff/free-audio/
Do it anyway (avoiding procrastination) Since deadlines don’t have teeth (most of the time) we find that jumping up a tree won’t mean you actually escape them. Procrastination leads to more stress for a couple of reason, partly because when we procrastinate, we also put off self care related behaviours because of our perceived lack of time to do them and secondly we frequently experience ruminative “I should really be doing x” thoughts, keeping cortisol levels high and therefore leading to increased anxiety and interference with sleep. We also kick the overwhelmed can down the road.
Changing our “when it’s finished” expectations One thing that feeds procrastination is our desire to reach a perfect point where we have nothing on our to-do list. This means we can find oursleves caught up in smaller, less significant tasks (think: re-ordering the kitchen drawer or cleaning out your pencil case) instead of progressing with the meaningful thing that will actually help us move forward. Oliver Burkeman, British author, journalist and writer on productivity speaks about how many of us have the “the desire to get on top of things” and “to put things off until you’ve ‘cleared the decks’ of smaller tasks – or until some imaginary future point at which you’ll have got your life into proper working order and real life can finally begin”. He refers to this as “trying to escape reality”. The alternative is to see our long list of to-dos as a river instead of a bucket (that can be emptied). Instead of focusing on getting to some future point where our to-do list vanishes, he implores us to set our minds on doing stuff that matters, while tolerating the fact that the decks aren’t clear. https://www.oliverburkeman.com/